A Legacy of Love

The Skype ring went off, the little notification ‘Jackie Whiffen calling’ blinking on my screen. Smiling, I settled on the edge of my bed and clicked ‘answer’. The picture came into focus and sitting on the couch, three in a row, squished together so they would all fit into the screen, was my Gampa, mom and Jackie Whiffen- my Gammy.  Without missing a beat they all launched into Happy Birthday.

It was my 28^th birthday and I was living in Thailand. 13 hours ahead of my friends and family which meant June 1^st (my birthday) really fell on May 31^st in the USA. But they remembered and called on the ‘right’ day on my Grandmothers own computer.  Purchased and set up so my Gam could keep in contact with me (and my cousin Melissa living in Switzerland) while I was abroad. Tentative but determined with her first ever computer,  Gammy did what she could to make sure she stayed in touch with her family- no matter where they were living their life.

My Gammy passed away about 3 weeks ago. Over one hundred people came to her funeral and every one of them had something to say about her strength of character and the impact of time spent with her.

We should all take a page from her book and learn how to leave such a legacy of love.

~~~~~

A Tribute to Gammy (from the service)

When reflecting on all the time spent with my Gammy, this one memory kept coming back to me. I was in high school and it was a weekend in the winter – and there wasn’t much to do in NH during the winter so myself and my two best girlfriends, one of whom is here today, and I baked banana bread. And when you did something like that, it went without saying you made one for Gammy and Gampa.

So we called up my grandparents and told them we had some banana bread and asked if we could bring it by. Of course the reply was “Sure honey, come on over.” And when we got there, the kitchen table had been set out with their blue and white china plates, silverware, tea was on and little bowls with butter and jam had been set out. We all sat around that table for a few hours eating banana bread and just talking.

And something about this simple memory captures all the love and attention both my grandparents put into even the littlest event in our lives.

My cousin Melissa briefly touched on the childhood my Gammy had. At a very young age my grandmother was very intentional in committing to creating a completely different family dynamic than what she had grown up with. One which was loving and supportive. Gammy more than succeeded in this goal.

And so I would like to thank my Gammy for always encouraging and believing, in the truest sense of the word, all of us in our dreams and endeavors. We lived a very different life, I think at my age my grandmother may have been close to having all of her 7 children. But whenever I told her my plans for my life- whether it was “I am moving to New York and Ireland to be an actress!” or “I am moving to Thailand!” she would just listen, smile and nod and hold my hand and say “Well honey, it sounds like you’ve thought this through and it’s a great opportunity and we love you and will be here when you get back.” I know it’s because of this backbone of love in my life I have been able to go out and do what I have done.

Thank you Gammy for always letting us know we were loved through your words and actions, for your good nature with putting up with teasing about your word retrieval issues and all the teasing from my uncles, for being such a great example of doing unto others as you would have done unto you. And, I am not sure if Gampa ever knew or really had the wool pulled over his eyes all these years, but I know I speak for myself and all my cousins when I say I would especially like to thank my Gammy for all those $20 bills she would palm out from the front pocket of her house dress and aggressively stick in our hands. You may have thought the $3 in our holiday cards were keeping us afloat all these years Gampa but it was really the $20’s.

Thank you Gammy for raising your family in such a way that I have the aunts, uncles and mother that I do. It’s hard to imagine our family without you and I can’t believe you are gone. I love you.  You were the best Gammy a family could ask for.